clairedavieswriter

Runner-up, Anansi Archive Winter 24-25 Short Story Competition

February

‘I can’t think of a single thing he’s done so far that I disagree with.’

‘Seriously Janice?’

‘Absolutely. We’ll all be better off, you’ll see. Sugar?’

‘Just cream thanks. You’re okay with people being rounded up and sent to Gitmo?’

‘Oh, come on Carol, that’s only temporary, and in any case, it’s only the real bad ones going there. Maybe if people see he’s serious, they’ll go home on their own, save us the trouble of deporting them.’

‘But what about the ones who were born here? This is their home.’

‘Well, they shouldn’t have broken the law. Personally, I think it’s a good thing he’s getting criminals off the streets.’

‘There’s plenty of Americans who break the law…’

‘That’s different. The courts can deal with them. But why should we pay to keep foreigners in jail?’

‘I guess you’re right.’

‘Cookie?’

‘Thanks. How’s things at work?’

‘A bit chaotic to be honest. There are strange guys poking around everywhere and asking all kinds of questions. But they say the department needed a shake up, so…’

‘Who says?’

‘Pardon me?’

‘Who says the department needed a shake up?’

‘Oh, lots of people.’

‘What kind of shake up? Why? What was it doing wrong or badly?’

‘Oh Carol, I don’t know, I’m just an Admin Assistant, but I’m sure it’s for the best. We all pay taxes, and we want them spent wisely, right?’

‘Right.’

‘So, where are you and Howard thinking of going for spring break?’

‘We’d normally go up to Colorado, but I’m scared to fly right now.’

‘I know what you mean. I can’t believe they let blind dwarfs be Air Traffic Controllers.’

‘Janice!’

March

‘Come on in, Carol. What’ve you been up to since we last met? I haven’t seen you in Target. Coffee?’

‘Thanks. No, I switched to CostCo.’

‘Why ever did you do that? It’s a longer drive.’

‘I just fancied a change. Say, are your neighbours on vacation? Their yard’s a mess.’

‘They’re home, but they’re having trouble with their gardener.’

‘What kind of trouble?’

‘He just stopped coming. They say he’s scared of being deported.’

‘Old Pedro? But he’s been here forever! His daddy worked there before him.’

‘I guess we just don’t know people like we think we do.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, you know what they say, no smoke without fire. There must be a reason he’s scared.’

‘Old Pedro wouldn’t hurt a fly.’

‘Anyways, did you hear we’ve been spending $50 million on condoms for terrorists?’

‘What?’

‘Brownie?

‘Thanks.’

‘Apparently, those libs in USAID had been giving tons of them to Jordanians. I’m glad we put a stop to that.’

‘Jordanians aren’t terrorists.’

‘They’re Muslims.’

‘Not all Muslims are terrorists, Janice.’

‘Top up?’

‘Sure. How’s Jason?’

‘He’s fine, growing up so fast. I can’t believe he’s driving already. Spends all his time hanging out with Bryan – that kid in his football team.’

‘Oh to be a teenager again! That reminds me, have you seen the school website?’

‘What about it?’

‘It says they’re bringing scripture into every subject.’

‘That’s good – kids need clear moral boundaries.’

‘I agree. But Kaylee’s really into biology, and I wonder how they’re going to teach science according to the scriptures. Where does God fit into the Big Bang Theory?’

‘Oh, I just love Sheldon, he’s so funny.’

‘Janice…’

April

‘Hi Carol, make yourself at home. I’m out of coffee; are you ok with tea?’

‘Sure. There’s still coffee in CostCo but it’s gotten so expensive they’ve started putting security tags on it. Tea’s nice for a change though. So what’s new? How’s young Brad’s job going?’

‘Didn’t I tell you? It didn’t work out. Timber’s got real scarce – because of the LA fires, apparently. So, they laid off all the new hires.’

‘Oh no. But what’s it got to do with LA? I’d heard it was because of the tariffs on Canada.’

‘Why would it have anything to do with that? Fox says Canada pays those.’

‘Right. What about your work, Janice? Are those strange guys still poking around?’

‘I wouldn’t know. They offered us all a buyout, and I took it.’

‘Oh wow. You’ve been in that job over 20 years! That must’ve been a tough decision.’

‘Not really. They said if we didn’t take it, we might lose our jobs anyway. This way, I get eight months on full pay while I look for another job.’

‘I see. Well in that case, I’m happy for you.’

‘Muffin?’

‘Thanks.’

‘How’s your sister?’

‘Enormous!’

‘Oh Lord! She must be so ready to get those babies out.’

‘Yes and no: her OBGYN has been suspended.’

‘No! Dr Hansen? She delivered my boys!’

‘I know. You recommended her to Charlotte. Apparently, someone reported her for doing an abortion. If she’s convicted, she could get the death penalty.’

‘Oh my gosh, that’s awful, Carol! She’s such a good doctor.’

‘Charlotte said it was just a D & C after a miscarriage.’

‘Healthcare is such a mess. The price of Graham’s insulin has gone through the roof.’

‘How’s his work?’

‘He’s never been busier.’

‘How come?’

‘It’s all these layoffs.’

‘That makes sense. It just can’t be legal what they’re doing.’

‘What’s the latest on Howard’s research?’

‘It’s going great. He had some exciting results a couple weeks ago.’

‘That’s fantastic! It’s such important work. He could save so many lives.’

‘I’m so proud of him. He’s worried about the audits, though. They’re already causing funding issues.’

‘I’m sure it’ll get back to normal soon.’

‘I hope so. Hey, did you hear about the new voting rules?’

‘Oh yes, I’m so happy they’re beefing up the security. We don’t want another stolen election.’

‘Come on, Janice, don’t start on that conspiracy stuff again.’

‘Well, at least there was no argument about the vote this time.’

‘I just hope it isn’t the last time we vote.’

‘Why would it be?’

‘Because we both took our husband’s name when we got married.’

‘So?’

‘So, they say in future, if your birth certificate doesn’t match your ID, you won’t be able vote.’

‘That can’t be right. It would affect millions of married women.’

‘That it would.’

‘Still, it doesn’t bother me too much. Graham and I always vote the same way. He can vote for me.’

‘Hmm. You ever heard the story about the people who voted for the ‘Leopard who Ate my Face Party’?’

‘No, sounds horrible.’

‘You might want to look it up.’

May

‘Carol, you made it! I was getting worried.’

‘Yeah, sorry I’m late. I had to go through two roadblocks. They were checking IDs and pulling people aside who couldn’t show their birth certificate. I’m glad I remembered to put mine in my purse before I came out. But you wouldn’t believe it, Janice, the militia were actually dragging little kids off a school bus. They were screaming for their mothers, it was awful.’

‘Oh gosh, that must’ve been tough to watch. But I suppose it’s good they’re taking the kids too – it means they’re keeping the families together.’

‘Janice, they were five or six years old! What have those kids done wrong? If they want to keep families together, surely there’s a better way than dragging them off their school bus? And in any case, they’re Americans. As much as our own kids.’

‘Not really, Carol. If the parents were illegals….’

‘That’s not how it works – if you’re born here, you’re American.’

‘We can’t keep on letting these people in, you know. I think they’re right that the birthright thing has to change.’

‘I thought he was only supposed to be deporting criminals.’

‘To be honest, I’ll be happier when all the illegals are gone, so we know everyone who’s here is legit. They can always apply through the proper channels and come back.’

‘I guess so. How are your parents, Janice?’

‘Oh, they get anxious, you know how old folks are with change, but they’re fine. I call them every day. They’re part of a lovely community up there.’

‘That’s good. Graham’s mom is in a care facility, isn’t she?’

‘Yeah, she doesn’t know what’s going on anymore, poor old soul. Which is probably just as well, because they’re having staffing problems right now.’

‘Oh?’

‘Her usual carer just upped and left last week, without a word.’

‘Oh my, what happened? Did she get deported?’

‘What, Dolores? No! That couldn’t be – she’s such a sweet girl, and so good at her job. No, I expect it was man trouble, you know what those Latinas are like.’

‘Janice!’

June

‘Hey Carol, sorry to call you so late, but I’m going to have to cancel coffee this month.’

‘Oh, that’s a shame, what’s up?’

‘Graham’s mom’s facility has closed. She’s with us now, and we’re still trying to get her settled.’

‘Oh gosh, what happened?’

‘It was the strangest thing. The whole damn staff just disappeared. From one day to the next. Not just Margot’s carer – all of them. The management team tried to handle it themselves while they recruited, but they couldn’t find anyone. They called and told us to go get her straight away.’

‘What are you going to do?’

‘I’ve no idea, Carol. All the care homes round here are short-staffed, and none are taking new clients. I don’t know how we’re going to manage. I’m not a nurse, and I want to go back to work – if I can find a job. At least Graham is home for now so he can help.’

‘That’s good. Has he taken time off?’

‘If only. No, he’s had some security issues at the practice, so he decided it was safer to work remotely for the moment.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that. I didn’t know remote working was allowed anymore.’

‘Well, he’s a lawyer, so he’s good at finding ways round rules! How’s Howard?’

‘Not so good. The foundation sent everyone home on administrative leave.’

‘Oh. Why?’

‘The authorities stopped all their incidental funding last month. It’s a disaster, Janice.’

‘How so?’

‘”Incidental” doesn’t sound like much, but as well as paying for basics like printer paper and cleaning products, it also covers lab refrigeration costs. For the last month, Howard’s team have been paying out of their own pocket to keep their cultures alive. But most of them are only post-grad students. They haven’t got that kind of money. And Howard couldn’t cover it alone. All the cultures died. He’s devastated. The research had reached a critical point. He’ll have to start again from scratch, if he ever gets back in the lab.’

‘That’s just awful.’ 

‘I know. And when I got to my gallery yesterday, someone had graffitied all over the window.’

‘Was it a Banksy?’

‘Ha! No. They’d painted WOKE CUNT in big red letters.’

‘That’s disgusting, Carol. Did you call the cops?’

‘No! Whose side do you think they’d be on?’

‘Maybe you’re right.’

‘Oh, and as you’ll know from Jason, school is on strike about the new anti-DEI rules, so Kaylee’s home at the moment.’

‘Yeah. For goodness’ sakes. What are they complaining about? It’s what we voted for, to root DEI out of schools.’

‘Janice…’

‘Activist teachers shouldn’t be anywhere near our kids.’

‘Janice, do you mind me asking you something?’

‘Sure.’

‘Do you know what DEI stands for?’

July

‘Hi Janice, I’m sorry but I’m not going to make it to coffee today.’

‘Is it bad over your way too?’

‘Really bad. The patrols are getting out of hand. They’re not even bothering to check ID anymore. If you look Latino, they just take you away to Lord knows where. I’m not letting Kaylee go to school until we can bleach her hair. I just hope no-one reports us.’

‘You mean your neighbours? They wouldn’t do that – they’ve known you for years. They know you’re not Latino.’

‘Most of them were federal employees like you, Janice. And you know what happened with the buyouts – the money never came through. They’re desperate. The militia are offering bounties to report people.’

‘My parents got reported.’

‘What? What for?’

‘They were born in Germany.’

‘I didn’t know that. But they must be naturalized US citizens?’

‘They are. It was horrendous, Carol. The community manager said a bunch of guys turned up in body armor and helmets, waving AK47s around. In an old folks’ home!’

‘They must’ve been terrified.’

‘They threatened them with deportation. My parents! Can you believe it?’

‘Tell me they didn’t take them away?’

‘They said everyone could stay in the community “while their cases are investigated”. It’s unbelievable. We’re talking about people in their 80s and 90s. Most of the community are Holocaust survivors, like my parents. They came to America to escape this kind of thing.’

‘I’m so sorry.’

‘Me too. I hope we can meet next month. Stay safe.’

August

‘Hey Carol, I’m afraid I won’t be able to meet for coffee for a while.’

‘What’s going on?’

‘Graham has been arrested.’

‘Oh no, Janice, whatever for?’

‘His legal practice was reported for assisting enemies of the state. I didn’t even know he was doing that kind of work. And it turns out he voted Harris! You think you know people… Anyway, they say some judges haven’t sworn the loyal oath yet, so there’s still a chance he might get a fair trial. I’m selling the house to raise funds for a defence. The housing market has collapsed of course, with all the layoffs, but I’ve agreed a price with the Housing Default Agency.’

‘Where will you go?’

‘I don’t know. Not too far hopefully. I want to be able to visit Graham. And Jason still needs to get to school.’

‘How is he? Kaylee told me he’d been in a fight.’

‘Did she tell you why?’

‘Yes.’

‘It’s just a phase, Carol. What with Graham’s arrest and all, it’s understandable that he would kick out a bit.’

‘Do you think he’s just doing it for attention?’

‘I can’t think why else he’d say those things. He’s the team quarterback for Pete’s sake, he’s as macho as they come!’

‘Well, all I can say is, if it’s just for attention, he’s taking a big risk. With things as they are it could be dangerous.’

‘I know, that’s what I’ve been telling him. I’m sure he’ll get his head straight and be back at school in no time.’

‘Give him a big hug from me. How’s Graham’s mom?’

‘Oh, there’s been some news on that front too. She took a turn for the worse last week and went into hospital. The doctors told me she wouldn’t get better but might hang on several more weeks. There’s no way I could afford her care. But she was eligible for consideration under the new law on assisted dying for the terminally incapacitated. It’s such a blessing. For her and me, to be honest. Graham was upset of course. Especially as they wouldn’t let him out to see her one last time, but he knew it was for the best.’

September

‘Janice, I just wanted to say how very shocked and sorry we were to hear what happened to Graham. He was such a good man, and he stood by his principles right till the end. I feel terrible texting, instead of driving over, but it’s just not safe on the road right now. I can’t believe what is happening to our country. Sending you much love. Please let me know if I can help in any way at all. I’m praying for you and the boys.’

October

‘Janice, I don’t know if you’re still receiving these messages, but Kaylee told me what they did to Jason. I’m so very sorry. I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through, but I’m here if you need me. Praying for you and Brad. Your friend, Carol.’

November

[Beep! You have one new voice message…]

‘Carol, this is Janice’s son Brad. I’ve just re-charged Mom’s phone and found your messages. I am very sorry to tell you that Mom was arrested last month. It turns out that under the new citizenship laws we don’t have birthright, because her parents weren’t born here. Rather than denounce us, my grandparents chose state-assisted dying, but Alien Enforcement found us anyways.

You won’t have read it in the media, but Germany is still refusing deportation flights, so I’m told the most likely thing is that Mom will go to a work camp somewhere in the south. As a fighting age male, I have been conscripted into the military, to be sent to the northern front. We’ve said our goodbyes.

I am taking a risk in sending this message, but I know how much Mom valued your friendship. She asked me to thank you for your kindness and to tell you ‘you were right about the leopard’. She said you’d know what that meant. Stay safe. Brad’                                  

Explanatory note:

In 2015, Twitter user Adrian Bott wrote the viral tweet, “‘I never thought leopards would eat my face,’ sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party”. The expression has since become idiomatic of people who face adverse consequences of authoritarian, cruel or unjust policies that they supported.

Source: Wikipedia